Backstage with the Boyington's

With the perfect day of sunshine begging to be played in and the cool night sky convincing us to sleep under it, Kyle and I went on our first camping trip of the year. I am afraid it won’t be topped! We set out on the hour and a half drive to Heber Springs mid morning Saturday. Neither of us barely uttered a word the whole way up there.. No, we weren’t fighting; we were listening to The Hunger Games on audio! Caught up in the Katiniss and Pita’s fight to stay alive, the trip up went by in a blink.

Our draw to Heber was their tall cliffs that entice all adventurists to take the plunge off of them. After the rainfall this week, they weren’t as high as usual, but that was fine with me! The sun was out and the temperature was perfect, the wind brought just enough chill to convince me that staying dry was the best way to go. Kyle decided to stay dry to, but the tall cliffs and the crisp water roped him in soon enough. I think Kyle thought it was a good idea… until his head shot up from the ice cold water followed by a couple of words that I don’t hear come out of Kyle too often;) He was glad that he did it, but his reaction along with his bright red skin was all it took for me to stay dry. It’s not that I’m scared to do it; I would actually love to. But I would not love to take the plunge into Titanic temperatures. Maybe July?

I was much more on board with the Italian sausage dogs waiting to be grilled on one of Kyle’s perfect fires. The smores grill baskets Kendyl and Austin gave us for Christmas were PERFECT for grilling! (And perfect for dessert!) Not that dieting is ever on the forefront of my mind, but the number one rule of camping is that calories FOR SURE don’t count. The way I figure, if you have to sleep outside, you get to eat a many smores as you want!

Several smores and toasted marshmallows later, we headed to the tent… the perfect place to get in some more Hunger Games. It was just like being in the arena… minus sleeping in trees and several people hunting us down. The night was PERFECT! I must say, that night of sleep rivaled some I have had in my own bed! When you have the right bedding, nothing beats sleeping in the perfectly cooled night air.

While I love the comfort of home (i’ll admit, I like it ALOT), there is something great about spending time with my husband (or friends if we could convince any of them here to come camping with us!) in nature. Getting back to the basics, sitting in cool night air next to a crackling fire, toasting marshmallows, taking the time to just talk and laugh together… hard to beat!

Time for another week of work. I’m excited for the short week… leaving work early Friday because Kyle’s mom and my parents and Jennifer and Brandon are coming in for Kyle’s birthday! Looking forward to another fun weekend!

Spoken Word Poetry… I LOVE it! If you’ve never heard it before listen to one of Sarah Kay’s poems. At first, I just liked to listen, and then I thought, “Maybe I would like to write one. Could I? Me?” And then that turned into, “Could I write one AND read it to people?” I decided to take the leap. Last Monday was my day to lead our Monday devotion at work (How cool is it that we actually have devotion AT work?!) so I marked my calendar for March 12th as the day I would be bold and just do it! I am so glad I did. God really spoke to me as I sat down night after night for a couple of weeks to work on my poem. And he blessed me courage to stand up in front of my co-workers and read it. My small disclaimer… This is my first spoken word poem, there is nothing crazy good about it. But I loved how God used it to draw me into Him. I would recommend to anyone to sit down and try your hand at one. It basically speaking from your heart. There are no rules! What makes spoken word poetry cool, to me anyway, is the spoken delivery of it… so for my second disclaimer: I think it sounds better read out loud instead of written. Anyway, it’s below for you to read!

The COOLEST part about my poem… how deeply encouraging Kyle was to me. I worked on it for a couple of weeks and read and re-read parts of what I wrote to him. I kept sharing with him my fear of reading it otuloud… “Would people like it? Would it be stupid? Is this dumb for me to want to do this? I’m not a poet!!” After a couple of weeks of me doing this back and forth with Kyle, he came into the living room one night, sat down beside me, and said “Jillian, I just want you to know that I think you are really good at this stuff… because I tried to write one for you.” Tears came to my eyes as I thought about my husband’s selflessness… his willingness to sacrifice his time to sit down and invest in my interests, even though they were not his own. As he stood to read me what he wrote for me, all I could think was “Thank you God for a husband who looks to my interests above his own… for a husband who cares about me enough to encourage me in the most selfless way.”

Before you read, remember this… Don’t be afraid to go after those “what ifs” you have in your life! What if I signed up for that play? What if I talked to that girl down the street? What if I joined that runners group? What if I trained for that race? You never know how God will use it to speak to you and to bless you!

Only One Thing

“It happened one day… between here and there, sometime between morning and night, I was going this way or that way… Really, I don’t know when “it” happened, because the truth is that I was too busy to stop and give it any consideration. But then it happened again, and again, and again until I couldn’t ignore it any longer. Rather, I couldn’t ignore Him any longer.

God’s Word says to examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. It’s vital that I examine my heart more often. It’s true, I’ve avoided it for some time now…caught on the Merry Go Round of life, mounted on my high horse, and if I just keep my head down, I can convince myself I am moving forward… only to look up and realize I am just going in circles.

I’ll get to you God. Just let me send this one email, oh, and let me just do this one load (or five) of laundry, and if I could just get like 20 minutes to… piddle, I’ll be right there. I must be a really good magician because I can turn 20 minutes into two hours just like that. Sooo, tomorrow God? …the problem with tomorrow is that it never comes.

I like to think that what little I do squeeze in with God will be enough to get by… to justify… to satisfy God… so that I can move on to watching my TV show or shopping for those new clothes. And while those new clothes may cover my body, no matter how many layers I put on, they won’t cover my heart.

And in my game of hide and seek with God, whether I’m running from Him, or hiding from Him, or just standing there in plain sight hoping I just won’t be seen, it’s all the same… He tags me every time.

I’ve sliced my excuses all kinds of different ways, and at the end of the game, I always find myself standing face to face with My SAVIOR ashamed to admit it outloud… “I’m. not. seeking. you.” I’ve thought for too long now that if I just don’t say it, don’t utter those four little words… it won’t be true. But we all know the Truth always comes out, always wins out.

You see, you can slice the loaf we call life any way you want, but at the end of the day we will always find that man cannot live by bread alone, but only on every word that comes from the mouth of God.

And, oh, how beautiful are those words from My Savior, if only I’d jump off the train of busyness that keeps chugging full steam ahead, rest my head on the soft pillow of his words and listen as He strums my heart strings to the captivating melody of His promises. Instead of sweeping him under the rug, I want to let him sweep me off my feet.

Recently, I was picked up an old book of mine and wiped away the dust from it’s jacket that had been settled the for too long: Captivating, by Stasi Elderidge. Thumbing through the pages, I was reminded what it feels like to drink from that spring in my heart that only God fills. I was reminded of the ONLY place I can go that will fuel the fire in my heart that drives me to seek the Lord…

…”But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me! ‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’”

Only one thing… Mary had the one thing. And that was a captivated, adoring heart that responds to the extravagant love of God with Worship. Not just signing at church worship…but, as Stasi says, worship in what we give our hearts away to in return for the promise of Life.

I have worshiped the thrown of many things that I falsely hoped would bring me life. But Jesus is the only one worthy of my heart’s devotion. Because of Mary’s captivated heart, she dropped everything, and sat at the feet of Jesus, gazing at Him, not just with her eyes, but with her heart. Now that’s seeking.

For the first weekend in a while, Kyle is off… for the WHOLE thing! Yay! It was such a treat to sleep in together (or even at all!) Kyle and I went on a 5 mile run this morning, and it was a good one! I still want to get my time down before my 10K in a few weeks, but I’m not sure that’s gonna happen. Hopefully Becca (who just ran a marathon a couple of weeks ago) will help me keep up the pace!

Saturdays are the best days to shop at Kroger because of all the free samples! Kyle is addicted to the cheese! It’s nice to get to go with Kyle (WAY easier with him to bring in all the groceries:))

Went to Big Orange tonight for the first time with Adam and Mallory! It was so good! I love their crazy variety of burgers! Their St. Patty’s Day special was great: Fried Green tomato and 1000 island dressing. Delish! Adam and Mallory were great company! It is so fun to get to know a new couple! Hopefully we will have some new outdoor buddies!;) We’ve been hard pressed to find couples to who like to camp! (But no one likes to camp like Kyle, I guess!)

It looks like Kyle’s month long trip is on hold for now… fingers crossed! If he has to go anywhere, I think it may be for a much shorter period of time! (I won’t be holding my breathe, though, so we will see!)

He is still leaving for a week on the 24th. I’ll be reverting back to my college years!!! Eating whatever I want, making plans with girlfriend, and SHOPPING!!! I gotta say, I hate to see Kyle go, but who doesn’t love a week of unsupervised shopping and eating out!

When will I learn to quit begging for Kyle’s work schedule every month! I set myself up every time… hopeful for all days and no weekends… and more times than not, my hope for the ideal schedule is crushed as the words “nights” “weekends” and , worst of all, “TDYs” slap me in the face. Last night was no different… Kyle sheepishly walked into the bed room and proceeded to rub my back, so I knew it wasn’t good. I quit listening after the words “Out of town for a month.”

Nope, Kyle will be out of town for a month…Grrrrreat. Well, at least the Grrrr part is accurate.

Yes, I cry just about every time he has to go. It doesn’t seem to get any easier no matter how many times he goes out of town. Yes, it could be worse… he could be gone for months or even a year. But my emotions still get the best of me.

A lady at work shared something with our department during our prayer time last week… it was about choosing to respond to situations based on God’s truth and not based on our emotions. A sign of spiritual maturity is responding based on what is true and not based on how I feel.

Not responding based on how I feel…This has been a hard lesson for me. It’s something I struggle with, and I think probably something I will always have to fight. When I am mad, I respond in anger, when I am sad, I want pity, when I feel like I deserve better, I seek out to get what I want… “What I deserve.”

I deserve to be sad and wallow in self pity because Kyle has a crazy work schedule and goes out of town on short notice, right… Right?

The truth is that when things don’t go my way, it is an opportunity to respond in a way that glorifies God… it’s an opportunity to be an example of Christ. I want to live my life in such a way that I look for opportunities to grow in my walk with the Lord and to let Christ shine through me. I’ve learned that this is not easy! That’s why it’s so important to respond based on God’s Word and not on my emotions. I guarantee you, I will choose myself every time if I make decisions off of how I feel. It’s why so many couples can’t communicate, why so many people are scarred by hurtful words…why so many marriages end in divorce. We choose to make decisions based off of how we feel and not based off of God’s Word… not based off of what is true.

I know I will still get sad when Kyle has to go out of town… still cry here and there… it’s not the emotion that’s wrong.. it’s what we choose to do with that emotion.

Before I finish, I would like to add as small disclaimer: a little retail therapy never hurt anyone.

So, I officially wrote one blog for the entire 2011 year! That’s pitiful! I do actually enjoy blogging when I sit down and do it, but that is the problem! Actually sitting down to do it! I have found that it is definitely a discipline.

I started a new job back in June of last year with FamilyLife, a marriage and family ministry that seeks to strengthen marriages and families and build them on the foundation of Christ. It has been the greatest blessing for me to work there! The work environment is so encouraging and motivating! On the downside of work things right now, my boss has decide to take another job. While I am so happy for him and excited for him to see how God uses him in hi new role, I am so sad to see him go! He has been such a blessing to work for. For me, this does mean change as far as who my new boss will be and probably some changes in my administrative duties. Admittedly, change is hard for me… I am a planner… I like things to go according to my plan… this was not in my plan! But I know God is good and will provide. Fortunately, my new boss is a really great guy! I know that I will enjoy working with him, but you know, change, even when it’s not necessarily bad change, can still take some getting used to. I know God’s hand is definitely in all of this!

Rewind back to October Of last year… I ran my first half marathon! It was so rewarding to set a challenging goal and meet it! I am planning to do another sometime this year, but I think the half marathon is a far a distance as I will ever shoot for! I just don’t think the marathon is for me… actually it boggles my mind that that long of a distance is really for anybody! The time commitment for the half was plenty!

Now back to, well, now…

Kyle and I have deemed 2012 the “Year of FUN.” We are seeing what we can get ourselves into! Not that having kids won’t be fun, but we are really wanting to enjoy time together and make the most of it while it’s just us! (DISCLAIMER: And it will still be just us for a while!!)

We went to St. Louis back in January, and had the best time! We visited the Arch, a beautiful cathedral, had some amazing BBQ, went to the CITY MUSEUM (like being in an adult playgroud created by Dr. Seuss!!!), annnnd had our first experience with Airbnb!

Airbnb is a site that you can book on to stay with other people in their homes. Crazy. I know. But it’s the year of fun! What a neat experience! We stayed with a couple about our age. Getting to know them was so neat! (We even went to lunch with them one day!)Now, I am not suggesting anyone stay with creepers… the website is very reputable and the people had lots of good reviews! I am saying, let’s step out of our little bubbles and be opened minded! I mean, Jesus didn’t book a room at the Holiday Inn. He stayed with others. In their homes. And impacted a lot of people with the Gospel that way. Not that there is anything wrong with getting hotels! It just felt so real to chose to engage with other people we didn’t know (even just for a few days)and hear about their life. So rewarding!

Check out Airbnb… http://www.airbnb.com/

Annnd check out the City Museum: the coolest, most unique place I’ve ever been!… www.citymuseum.org

I can’t believe it’s already March! The year is already flying by!

Kyle’s 25th birthday is March 31st. We are looking forward to celebrating and cooking out with friends and then can’t wait for our family to come up the weekend of his birthday!

I am set to run a 10K in April and then Kyle and I are doing a Warrior Dash in May! The Warrior Dash …(http://warriordash.com/register2012_arkansas.php#) is a 3.4 mile run with different obstacles sprinkled in throughout the route! Kyle and I are super pumped about it!

Let’s see if I can double my blog posts this year!

I should really keep up with this better! I get side tracked!

Kyle and I went on a little adventure last week… we drove to Mt. Magazine, about 2 hours from Little Rock, to hike one of the trails there and camp overnight.

After first starting out…Let’s just say I’m glad the hike got better. We started the trail at the top of the mountain, so our first couple of miles were made up of slow, careful step down, slippery, snowy rocks. FUN right?

A bit farther down the mountain, the good Lord must have heard my prayers, because the terrain straightened out and the snow cleared.

The next few miles were better, but I was ready to stop for the night. We found a camp sight on the trail about 4.5 miles in. Since eating tends to be a hobby of mine, making smores,sausage dogs, and baked potatoes was fun. Snuggling by the warm fire with Kyle? FUN! Sleeping in the cold on the ground? EHhhh, not so much. We called it a night at a rousing 7:30 p.m. and toughed out the cold until morning.

We heard rumors of bears being in the woods, but, luckily, we managed to avoid seeing any. We hiked the 5.5 miles out the next morning. Boy, was I glad to see that car.

As uncomfortable as these kinds of trips can sometimes be, I am thankful for them. It’s good for me to live outside of comfort zone for a bit to both be thankful for how I do live and more to experience the greatness of God’s creation… to get away from the world and just be in the presence of the Lord.

The time Kyle and I spend together is precious. I am thankful for a husband who desires to get away with me, and who wants to experience adventures with me. Yeah, it was cold, but my soul was warmed on this trip.

My friend Angela was taken into surgery last Tuesday night to take her organs. She saved seven people’s lives. That’s seven families that were able to see the love and glory of God. I just know that others will come to know Him through this. Romans 8:28 says “… we can be so sure that EVERY DETAIL in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”

DJ and family are doing quite well. The peace and comfort of God are CLEARLY covering them right now. I was able to speak with her mom yesterday and give her some verses to look at when she wanted. She is definitely clinging to God and His promises right now. It is SO encouraging for me to see her faith in action at a tragic time such as this. Her hope in Christ gives me hope and I know it will give others hope too. She is the light of Jesus right now, and encourages me to be the same.

I also talked with DJ the other day. He was just asking if it was OK to ask “WHY GOD??” I shared the verse and thoughts that you gave to me the other day, Chris, and I think it was a comfort to him knowing that it was OK to run to God with ALL of his emotions. His attitude in light of everything that has happened to him is truly from God. Jesus’ light is shining through him right now. Everyone who comes to visit this family is getting to see the light of Christ, and I am truly thankful and in awe of this.

PLEASE continue to pray for this family as they take care of details and then begin the long, hard journey of healing. If the past few days are any indication, God is going to carry this family and continue to cover them in peace and comfort. They will see better days, praise the LORD!

This past week has been one of much pain and heartache. It has also been one full of God’s grace, love, peace, and comfort.

Angela Johnson, a good friend of mine and Kyle’s, died Monday after being injured in a motorcycle accident. Angela and her husband, DJ were riding together on their motorcycle when a deer jumped in front of them causing them to wreck. Thankfully, DJ was not seriously hurt. He broke his right arm, and has painful road rash on the left arm. Angela’s helmet came off during the wreck causing serious brain damage. She was pronounced brain dead Monday night, and was taken off life support shortly after.

I know what is hurting DJ most right now is his broken heart. I have no words to express to him how much my heart aches for him. I know DJ has a hard road ahead, but I know God’s love and grace will be with DJ the whole time. I don’t know why these things happen… why life can be taken away when it’s so young and new. My heart crys out “WHY, LORD??!!?” To be honest, I even get angry. Why is this part of His plan? How will he use this for good? Why now, Lord? So many questions run through my mind…

I must lean on what I know is true: That God ways are not my own, and that my thoughts are not his thoughts. That God DOES use ALL things for good. That is grace and mercy are abounding and never ceasing.

I know that God showed up last week at the hospital. He was shining through DJ, and through Angela’s family.

DJ, I know this is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to go through. But I have seen your faith in Christ, and it makes you strong! I know that you will see better days ahead. Jesus is shining through you right now!

It all seems so unreal…. So unbelievable. I never even knew I had that many tears to cry. While all this is so hard for any of us to understand, I know God is good. I know He is faithful. I know He will bring DJ through the valley and use this time in all of our lives as well.

Angela, my funny funny, friend. You will be missed greatly. You were a light to everyone you were around. You were always making me laugh, and you DEFINITELY kept me on my toes. You were my first friend in Little Rock. I am so glad I got to know you, even for a short time. Thanks for being my friend and partner when we were both new to Little Rock. You have begun a new journey, and eternal journey. I can’t wait to see you again n Our Father’s House.

Some thoughts of mine a week or so ago…

Thankful for the heat

I don’t know what got into me today, but as I was driving home from work, I thought today might be a good day to go on a run. Now to some of you, this may not seem like a crazy thought to have. But after a movie watching, ice cream eating, “Facebooking” week, this was definitely a wild thought for me.
I got home from work, dressed quickly for fear of changing my mind (trust me I’ve done it before) and headed out the door. The heat hit me instantly. In spite of it, I began the trek up the first hill by my apartment. The sweat instantly started to pour. About 2 miles into my run I thought “Man! If it weren’t so hot out here, this would be so much better! I would have a much better run!” I longed for some cool water. I passed a nasty puddle on the way back home and actually thought it would feel good it stick my face in it. That’s how hot I was. No wonder people do crazy things when they are stranded in the desert heat! After 3.3 miles, (this is a feat for me so I will tack on whatever I can!) I made it back to my apartment. I headed straight for the apartment work- out room where the water fountain was. The air conditioned room was instant relief. I gulped what seemed like the best, coolest water I’d had in my life from the water fountain. Let me tell you, Dasani had nothing on this water! I walked in the weight room, sprawled out on the floor (don’t worry, the room was empty!) and let the cool air dry the sweat on my face. In spite of being in what seemed like paradise for a few minutes, do you know what thought came to my head? I thought, “I am so thankful for the heat!”
Surprised I thought this, I began to think. I was so thankful for the heat because of how much it made me appreciate the coolness of the air and water once I finished my run. Had my run not been hard, I would not have had nearly the appreciation for the reward. Without the adversity we face in our life, we would have nothing to compare the blessings to. Would we really feel blessed for the good things in our life without the adversity to measure up to it?
Suddenly, thanksgiving overflowed from me. James 1:2-3, 12 says “2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” I thought about all the things in my life going on that I thought of as an inconvenience or hardship. I could be joyful that Kyle has been away from home so much because I can be sure that God is using it to grow me in Him, and because I could better appreciate the time Kyle and I did have together. I recalled how joyous our weekend together was a few weeks ago after he’d been away. I appreciated that my family lived far away because if they lived closer, our time together would not be as sweet, and we would not appreciate seeing each other as much. The times I have experienced true joy and growth in my life have almost always followed the times I have experienced hardship in my life.
God quickly refined the lesson he’d taught me the very next day. I went out again for another run. This time, my motivation was not necessarily to do something good for my body, or to thank God for the healthy body he’d given me by taking care of it. Today, my motivation was enduring the heat purely to get the reward I’d experienced the day before. I finished my run, and bee lined straight for the work- out room door. This time, I could not seem to get the code to work. I tried and tried until finally I decided to just head for my apartment. I saw that God does not always promise to immediately reward us the way we think we should be. There is nothing wrong with looking forward to the reward, but if our motivation is solely on the reward and not on persevering to honor and glorify God, we are missing out.
Finally, as a believer, I can appreciate the times in my life that produce perseverance because of a reward greater than any found here on earth: “the crown of life God has promised to those who loved him.”
I hope not another hot summer day will go by that I am not thankful for the heat.

And just like that… another month is GONE! Time doesn’t stop for anything does it?! Considering we have to work 40 hour weeks and don’t always have the same days off, Kyle and I have still had an enjoyable summer so far!

We love our community group! God really blessed us when He put us in this group! We have made some great friends so far. We are thankful for the time we get to spend with them, and are lucky to have the opportunity to get to know some great people! The group has moved into what we call “Casual Summer.” We were able to all go to the Arkansas Traveler’s Baseball game a couple of weeks ago. It was HOT, but it was a lot of fun! We are looking forward to the other fun activities planned for the rest of the summer!

Two very good friends of mine recently were engaged! Amanda McLendon will be getting married to “Mr. Wright” (LOL) on March 5, 2011, and Amanda Beck will marry Drew May on March 26, 2011. TWO weddings in one month! I am honored to be the Matron of Honor in Amanda McLendon’s wedding!

The Fourth of July is coming up! Unfortunately, Kyle has to be out of town for a whole week, which means no 4th of July plans with him! On a positive note, my parents are driving up to see me! Now, if only Jennifer would come too!