Backstage with the Boyington's

With the perfect day of sunshine begging to be played in and the cool night sky convincing us to sleep under it, Kyle and I went on our first camping trip of the year. I am afraid it won’t be topped! We set out on the hour and a half drive to Heber Springs mid morning Saturday. Neither of us barely uttered a word the whole way up there.. No, we weren’t fighting; we were listening to The Hunger Games on audio! Caught up in the Katiniss and Pita’s fight to stay alive, the trip up went by in a blink.

Our draw to Heber was their tall cliffs that entice all adventurists to take the plunge off of them. After the rainfall this week, they weren’t as high as usual, but that was fine with me! The sun was out and the temperature was perfect, the wind brought just enough chill to convince me that staying dry was the best way to go. Kyle decided to stay dry to, but the tall cliffs and the crisp water roped him in soon enough. I think Kyle thought it was a good idea… until his head shot up from the ice cold water followed by a couple of words that I don’t hear come out of Kyle too often;) He was glad that he did it, but his reaction along with his bright red skin was all it took for me to stay dry. It’s not that I’m scared to do it; I would actually love to. But I would not love to take the plunge into Titanic temperatures. Maybe July?

I was much more on board with the Italian sausage dogs waiting to be grilled on one of Kyle’s perfect fires. The smores grill baskets Kendyl and Austin gave us for Christmas were PERFECT for grilling! (And perfect for dessert!) Not that dieting is ever on the forefront of my mind, but the number one rule of camping is that calories FOR SURE don’t count. The way I figure, if you have to sleep outside, you get to eat a many smores as you want!

Several smores and toasted marshmallows later, we headed to the tent… the perfect place to get in some more Hunger Games. It was just like being in the arena… minus sleeping in trees and several people hunting us down. The night was PERFECT! I must say, that night of sleep rivaled some I have had in my own bed! When you have the right bedding, nothing beats sleeping in the perfectly cooled night air.

While I love the comfort of home (i’ll admit, I like it ALOT), there is something great about spending time with my husband (or friends if we could convince any of them here to come camping with us!) in nature. Getting back to the basics, sitting in cool night air next to a crackling fire, toasting marshmallows, taking the time to just talk and laugh together… hard to beat!

Time for another week of work. I’m excited for the short week… leaving work early Friday because Kyle’s mom and my parents and Jennifer and Brandon are coming in for Kyle’s birthday! Looking forward to another fun weekend!

Spoken Word Poetry… I LOVE it! If you’ve never heard it before listen to one of Sarah Kay’s poems. At first, I just liked to listen, and then I thought, “Maybe I would like to write one. Could I? Me?” And then that turned into, “Could I write one AND read it to people?” I decided to take the leap. Last Monday was my day to lead our Monday devotion at work (How cool is it that we actually have devotion AT work?!) so I marked my calendar for March 12th as the day I would be bold and just do it! I am so glad I did. God really spoke to me as I sat down night after night for a couple of weeks to work on my poem. And he blessed me courage to stand up in front of my co-workers and read it. My small disclaimer… This is my first spoken word poem, there is nothing crazy good about it. But I loved how God used it to draw me into Him. I would recommend to anyone to sit down and try your hand at one. It basically speaking from your heart. There are no rules! What makes spoken word poetry cool, to me anyway, is the spoken delivery of it… so for my second disclaimer: I think it sounds better read out loud instead of written. Anyway, it’s below for you to read!

The COOLEST part about my poem… how deeply encouraging Kyle was to me. I worked on it for a couple of weeks and read and re-read parts of what I wrote to him. I kept sharing with him my fear of reading it otuloud… “Would people like it? Would it be stupid? Is this dumb for me to want to do this? I’m not a poet!!” After a couple of weeks of me doing this back and forth with Kyle, he came into the living room one night, sat down beside me, and said “Jillian, I just want you to know that I think you are really good at this stuff… because I tried to write one for you.” Tears came to my eyes as I thought about my husband’s selflessness… his willingness to sacrifice his time to sit down and invest in my interests, even though they were not his own. As he stood to read me what he wrote for me, all I could think was “Thank you God for a husband who looks to my interests above his own… for a husband who cares about me enough to encourage me in the most selfless way.”

Before you read, remember this… Don’t be afraid to go after those “what ifs” you have in your life! What if I signed up for that play? What if I talked to that girl down the street? What if I joined that runners group? What if I trained for that race? You never know how God will use it to speak to you and to bless you!

Only One Thing

“It happened one day… between here and there, sometime between morning and night, I was going this way or that way… Really, I don’t know when “it” happened, because the truth is that I was too busy to stop and give it any consideration. But then it happened again, and again, and again until I couldn’t ignore it any longer. Rather, I couldn’t ignore Him any longer.

God’s Word says to examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. It’s vital that I examine my heart more often. It’s true, I’ve avoided it for some time now…caught on the Merry Go Round of life, mounted on my high horse, and if I just keep my head down, I can convince myself I am moving forward… only to look up and realize I am just going in circles.

I’ll get to you God. Just let me send this one email, oh, and let me just do this one load (or five) of laundry, and if I could just get like 20 minutes to… piddle, I’ll be right there. I must be a really good magician because I can turn 20 minutes into two hours just like that. Sooo, tomorrow God? …the problem with tomorrow is that it never comes.

I like to think that what little I do squeeze in with God will be enough to get by… to justify… to satisfy God… so that I can move on to watching my TV show or shopping for those new clothes. And while those new clothes may cover my body, no matter how many layers I put on, they won’t cover my heart.

And in my game of hide and seek with God, whether I’m running from Him, or hiding from Him, or just standing there in plain sight hoping I just won’t be seen, it’s all the same… He tags me every time.

I’ve sliced my excuses all kinds of different ways, and at the end of the game, I always find myself standing face to face with My SAVIOR ashamed to admit it outloud… “I’m. not. seeking. you.” I’ve thought for too long now that if I just don’t say it, don’t utter those four little words… it won’t be true. But we all know the Truth always comes out, always wins out.

You see, you can slice the loaf we call life any way you want, but at the end of the day we will always find that man cannot live by bread alone, but only on every word that comes from the mouth of God.

And, oh, how beautiful are those words from My Savior, if only I’d jump off the train of busyness that keeps chugging full steam ahead, rest my head on the soft pillow of his words and listen as He strums my heart strings to the captivating melody of His promises. Instead of sweeping him under the rug, I want to let him sweep me off my feet.

Recently, I was picked up an old book of mine and wiped away the dust from it’s jacket that had been settled the for too long: Captivating, by Stasi Elderidge. Thumbing through the pages, I was reminded what it feels like to drink from that spring in my heart that only God fills. I was reminded of the ONLY place I can go that will fuel the fire in my heart that drives me to seek the Lord…

…”But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me! ‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’”

Only one thing… Mary had the one thing. And that was a captivated, adoring heart that responds to the extravagant love of God with Worship. Not just signing at church worship…but, as Stasi says, worship in what we give our hearts away to in return for the promise of Life.

I have worshiped the thrown of many things that I falsely hoped would bring me life. But Jesus is the only one worthy of my heart’s devotion. Because of Mary’s captivated heart, she dropped everything, and sat at the feet of Jesus, gazing at Him, not just with her eyes, but with her heart. Now that’s seeking.

For the first weekend in a while, Kyle is off… for the WHOLE thing! Yay! It was such a treat to sleep in together (or even at all!) Kyle and I went on a 5 mile run this morning, and it was a good one! I still want to get my time down before my 10K in a few weeks, but I’m not sure that’s gonna happen. Hopefully Becca (who just ran a marathon a couple of weeks ago) will help me keep up the pace!

Saturdays are the best days to shop at Kroger because of all the free samples! Kyle is addicted to the cheese! It’s nice to get to go with Kyle (WAY easier with him to bring in all the groceries:))

Went to Big Orange tonight for the first time with Adam and Mallory! It was so good! I love their crazy variety of burgers! Their St. Patty’s Day special was great: Fried Green tomato and 1000 island dressing. Delish! Adam and Mallory were great company! It is so fun to get to know a new couple! Hopefully we will have some new outdoor buddies!;) We’ve been hard pressed to find couples to who like to camp! (But no one likes to camp like Kyle, I guess!)

It looks like Kyle’s month long trip is on hold for now… fingers crossed! If he has to go anywhere, I think it may be for a much shorter period of time! (I won’t be holding my breathe, though, so we will see!)

He is still leaving for a week on the 24th. I’ll be reverting back to my college years!!! Eating whatever I want, making plans with girlfriend, and SHOPPING!!! I gotta say, I hate to see Kyle go, but who doesn’t love a week of unsupervised shopping and eating out!

When will I learn to quit begging for Kyle’s work schedule every month! I set myself up every time… hopeful for all days and no weekends… and more times than not, my hope for the ideal schedule is crushed as the words “nights” “weekends” and , worst of all, “TDYs” slap me in the face. Last night was no different… Kyle sheepishly walked into the bed room and proceeded to rub my back, so I knew it wasn’t good. I quit listening after the words “Out of town for a month.”

Nope, Kyle will be out of town for a month…Grrrrreat. Well, at least the Grrrr part is accurate.

Yes, I cry just about every time he has to go. It doesn’t seem to get any easier no matter how many times he goes out of town. Yes, it could be worse… he could be gone for months or even a year. But my emotions still get the best of me.

A lady at work shared something with our department during our prayer time last week… it was about choosing to respond to situations based on God’s truth and not based on our emotions. A sign of spiritual maturity is responding based on what is true and not based on how I feel.

Not responding based on how I feel…This has been a hard lesson for me. It’s something I struggle with, and I think probably something I will always have to fight. When I am mad, I respond in anger, when I am sad, I want pity, when I feel like I deserve better, I seek out to get what I want… “What I deserve.”

I deserve to be sad and wallow in self pity because Kyle has a crazy work schedule and goes out of town on short notice, right… Right?

The truth is that when things don’t go my way, it is an opportunity to respond in a way that glorifies God… it’s an opportunity to be an example of Christ. I want to live my life in such a way that I look for opportunities to grow in my walk with the Lord and to let Christ shine through me. I’ve learned that this is not easy! That’s why it’s so important to respond based on God’s Word and not on my emotions. I guarantee you, I will choose myself every time if I make decisions off of how I feel. It’s why so many couples can’t communicate, why so many people are scarred by hurtful words…why so many marriages end in divorce. We choose to make decisions based off of how we feel and not based off of God’s Word… not based off of what is true.

I know I will still get sad when Kyle has to go out of town… still cry here and there… it’s not the emotion that’s wrong.. it’s what we choose to do with that emotion.

Before I finish, I would like to add as small disclaimer: a little retail therapy never hurt anyone.

So, I officially wrote one blog for the entire 2011 year! That’s pitiful! I do actually enjoy blogging when I sit down and do it, but that is the problem! Actually sitting down to do it! I have found that it is definitely a discipline.

I started a new job back in June of last year with FamilyLife, a marriage and family ministry that seeks to strengthen marriages and families and build them on the foundation of Christ. It has been the greatest blessing for me to work there! The work environment is so encouraging and motivating! On the downside of work things right now, my boss has decide to take another job. While I am so happy for him and excited for him to see how God uses him in hi new role, I am so sad to see him go! He has been such a blessing to work for. For me, this does mean change as far as who my new boss will be and probably some changes in my administrative duties. Admittedly, change is hard for me… I am a planner… I like things to go according to my plan… this was not in my plan! But I know God is good and will provide. Fortunately, my new boss is a really great guy! I know that I will enjoy working with him, but you know, change, even when it’s not necessarily bad change, can still take some getting used to. I know God’s hand is definitely in all of this!

Rewind back to October Of last year… I ran my first half marathon! It was so rewarding to set a challenging goal and meet it! I am planning to do another sometime this year, but I think the half marathon is a far a distance as I will ever shoot for! I just don’t think the marathon is for me… actually it boggles my mind that that long of a distance is really for anybody! The time commitment for the half was plenty!

Now back to, well, now…

Kyle and I have deemed 2012 the “Year of FUN.” We are seeing what we can get ourselves into! Not that having kids won’t be fun, but we are really wanting to enjoy time together and make the most of it while it’s just us! (DISCLAIMER: And it will still be just us for a while!!)

We went to St. Louis back in January, and had the best time! We visited the Arch, a beautiful cathedral, had some amazing BBQ, went to the CITY MUSEUM (like being in an adult playgroud created by Dr. Seuss!!!), annnnd had our first experience with Airbnb!

Airbnb is a site that you can book on to stay with other people in their homes. Crazy. I know. But it’s the year of fun! What a neat experience! We stayed with a couple about our age. Getting to know them was so neat! (We even went to lunch with them one day!)Now, I am not suggesting anyone stay with creepers… the website is very reputable and the people had lots of good reviews! I am saying, let’s step out of our little bubbles and be opened minded! I mean, Jesus didn’t book a room at the Holiday Inn. He stayed with others. In their homes. And impacted a lot of people with the Gospel that way. Not that there is anything wrong with getting hotels! It just felt so real to chose to engage with other people we didn’t know (even just for a few days)and hear about their life. So rewarding!

Check out Airbnb… http://www.airbnb.com/

Annnd check out the City Museum: the coolest, most unique place I’ve ever been!… www.citymuseum.org

I can’t believe it’s already March! The year is already flying by!

Kyle’s 25th birthday is March 31st. We are looking forward to celebrating and cooking out with friends and then can’t wait for our family to come up the weekend of his birthday!

I am set to run a 10K in April and then Kyle and I are doing a Warrior Dash in May! The Warrior Dash …(http://warriordash.com/register2012_arkansas.php#) is a 3.4 mile run with different obstacles sprinkled in throughout the route! Kyle and I are super pumped about it!

Let’s see if I can double my blog posts this year!