Backstage with the Boyington's

Spoken Word Poetry… I LOVE it! If you’ve never heard it before listen to one of Sarah Kay’s poems. At first, I just liked to listen, and then I thought, “Maybe I would like to write one. Could I? Me?” And then that turned into, “Could I write one AND read it to people?” I decided to take the leap. Last Monday was my day to lead our Monday devotion at work (How cool is it that we actually have devotion AT work?!) so I marked my calendar for March 12th as the day I would be bold and just do it! I am so glad I did. God really spoke to me as I sat down night after night for a couple of weeks to work on my poem. And he blessed me courage to stand up in front of my co-workers and read it. My small disclaimer… This is my first spoken word poem, there is nothing crazy good about it. But I loved how God used it to draw me into Him. I would recommend to anyone to sit down and try your hand at one. It basically speaking from your heart. There are no rules! What makes spoken word poetry cool, to me anyway, is the spoken delivery of it… so for my second disclaimer: I think it sounds better read out loud instead of written. Anyway, it’s below for you to read!

The COOLEST part about my poem… how deeply encouraging Kyle was to me. I worked on it for a couple of weeks and read and re-read parts of what I wrote to him. I kept sharing with him my fear of reading it otuloud… “Would people like it? Would it be stupid? Is this dumb for me to want to do this? I’m not a poet!!” After a couple of weeks of me doing this back and forth with Kyle, he came into the living room one night, sat down beside me, and said “Jillian, I just want you to know that I think you are really good at this stuff… because I tried to write one for you.” Tears came to my eyes as I thought about my husband’s selflessness… his willingness to sacrifice his time to sit down and invest in my interests, even though they were not his own. As he stood to read me what he wrote for me, all I could think was “Thank you God for a husband who looks to my interests above his own… for a husband who cares about me enough to encourage me in the most selfless way.”

Before you read, remember this… Don’t be afraid to go after those “what ifs” you have in your life! What if I signed up for that play? What if I talked to that girl down the street? What if I joined that runners group? What if I trained for that race? You never know how God will use it to speak to you and to bless you!

Only One Thing

“It happened one day… between here and there, sometime between morning and night, I was going this way or that way… Really, I don’t know when “it” happened, because the truth is that I was too busy to stop and give it any consideration. But then it happened again, and again, and again until I couldn’t ignore it any longer. Rather, I couldn’t ignore Him any longer.

God’s Word says to examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. It’s vital that I examine my heart more often. It’s true, I’ve avoided it for some time now…caught on the Merry Go Round of life, mounted on my high horse, and if I just keep my head down, I can convince myself I am moving forward… only to look up and realize I am just going in circles.

I’ll get to you God. Just let me send this one email, oh, and let me just do this one load (or five) of laundry, and if I could just get like 20 minutes to… piddle, I’ll be right there. I must be a really good magician because I can turn 20 minutes into two hours just like that. Sooo, tomorrow God? …the problem with tomorrow is that it never comes.

I like to think that what little I do squeeze in with God will be enough to get by… to justify… to satisfy God… so that I can move on to watching my TV show or shopping for those new clothes. And while those new clothes may cover my body, no matter how many layers I put on, they won’t cover my heart.

And in my game of hide and seek with God, whether I’m running from Him, or hiding from Him, or just standing there in plain sight hoping I just won’t be seen, it’s all the same… He tags me every time.

I’ve sliced my excuses all kinds of different ways, and at the end of the game, I always find myself standing face to face with My SAVIOR ashamed to admit it outloud… “I’m. not. seeking. you.” I’ve thought for too long now that if I just don’t say it, don’t utter those four little words… it won’t be true. But we all know the Truth always comes out, always wins out.

You see, you can slice the loaf we call life any way you want, but at the end of the day we will always find that man cannot live by bread alone, but only on every word that comes from the mouth of God.

And, oh, how beautiful are those words from My Savior, if only I’d jump off the train of busyness that keeps chugging full steam ahead, rest my head on the soft pillow of his words and listen as He strums my heart strings to the captivating melody of His promises. Instead of sweeping him under the rug, I want to let him sweep me off my feet.

Recently, I was picked up an old book of mine and wiped away the dust from it’s jacket that had been settled the for too long: Captivating, by Stasi Elderidge. Thumbing through the pages, I was reminded what it feels like to drink from that spring in my heart that only God fills. I was reminded of the ONLY place I can go that will fuel the fire in my heart that drives me to seek the Lord…

…”But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me! ‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’”

Only one thing… Mary had the one thing. And that was a captivated, adoring heart that responds to the extravagant love of God with Worship. Not just signing at church worship…but, as Stasi says, worship in what we give our hearts away to in return for the promise of Life.

I have worshiped the thrown of many things that I falsely hoped would bring me life. But Jesus is the only one worthy of my heart’s devotion. Because of Mary’s captivated heart, she dropped everything, and sat at the feet of Jesus, gazing at Him, not just with her eyes, but with her heart. Now that’s seeking.